11.1kg lost so far....only another 46kg to go!

last night i weighed in @ 113.2kg which means i have lost a total of 11.1kg. although i only lost 200g this week (ate a couple of takeaways...paying for it now!!) i am still happy that i can say i have lost over 11kg in 9weeks. Makes me feel rather proude actually...big head and all that.. :) haha
i started weight watchers 9weeks ago and havnt looked back since. i feel so determined to do this and now that i have actually been given the tools to accomplish my dreams i just know i can.
i have always been big, a cant actually ever remember a time when i wasnt overweight. it never used to bother me, i was always happy and content, i could do most things others did and enjoyed life but these last couple of years i had gained even more weight and was feeling very uncomfortable. 2years ago we had our first son, shammah, our pride and joy. i actually lost weight during my pregnancy as i had morning, noon and night sickness!
i would go to my antenatal classes (this all happened in the UK-lived there for 6yrs before moving back to aus last year) and see the other thin ladies with there bumps and i remember actually feeling a hint of jealousy...coz i was so large you couldnt really tell what was baby or what was a fat roll!!!! i thought it would be so wonderful to actually be able to see my bump more, yes i knew i had a baby in that big tummy of mine but i just wished my fat looked more like a bump, as it did on the other ladies. also when i went for checkups it was always harder for the midwife and the sonographer to hear/see the baby, had to negotiate with all my fat rolls and find where bub was!
one month after having shammah my father passed away, he was having several operations to have anurisms removed but due to alot of complications he died, it was so terrible for me as all my family were back home in australia and i was in the UK, it was supposed to be one of the best times of my life, the joy of having a baby is so amazing but in the midst of all that was the terrible sorrow and heartache of being so far away from my family at such a time. dad was slowly dying over a few days and all my family were at the hospital, they would sms me and ring me in the middle of the night uk time, i was awake coz of feeding bub, i would be crying and feeding shammah and ohhhh it was just one of the worst times in my life.
a month later shammah and i were able to travel to australia, my husband, shep followed us a month later. anyway, to cut a long story short, it was during this time that i really felt the need to do something about my weight. i wanted to be around for a long time, i didnt want my children to go through the same thing i did when loosing dad and i wanted to be a fit and healthy mum.
i find it so hard to run around and play with my son. i mean, i can do it but i know it would be so much easier if i was alot lighter. my husband, shep, is a thin, fit guy and i wish i could do half the stuff he is able to do! my back always aches and my knees too. i cant sit on the floor for long coz of these 2problems and when im sleeping at night i have to have a couple of pillows under my head or i feel like i cant breathe properly.
now it sounds like im complaining but im just trying to give you the picture of all the factors of my wanting to loose weight.
i decided to try loosing the weight on my own a few times but they were always half hearted attempts. i never stayed on them long and soon went back to my bad eating habbits.
when we moved back to australia i put on another 15kgs, making me 124.3kg! none of my clothes fitted properly, size 24 was getting too tight, that was when i said to my hubby i have had enough, im going to weight watchers...and off i went!!!!!
lots of people had talked to me about doing WW but i had always thought it was a load of rubbish and counting points wasnt for me, i couldnt be bothered with all that! it wasnt until my hairdresser was telling me how much her friend had lost and she actually explained how it all worked and i think i was feeling so desperate to change my lifestyle that i actually listened for a change instead of blocking it...like i usually did when people talked to me about diets.
a couple of weeks later i got on the internet, checked out the WW website, found the address of my nearest meeting, i went, i got weighed, (nearly died!!) found out how much i needed to loose to be in my healthy BMI and now i am on the road to weight loss! i try not to look at it as a diet, for me it is a whole lifestyle change. im learing how to eat properly and how to cook without all the oil and other crap i would use.
weight watchers is absolutely brilliant, its worth the money and to be honest i would have spent more on takeaways a month than i do on WW! they have given me the tools to success and im never going back to where i was before. i have lost weight every week, sometimes less than i would have liked but im learning from my mistakes. once apon a time if i had of stuffed up once during a diet i would have thought, oh well,who cares and eaten a block of chocolate to make myself "feel" better. now, if i have over indulged a bit i think, jacqueline, why did you do that? and i pick myself up and recover, if i go over my points one day i dont continue on that downward spiral, i kick myself in the butt and work much harder the next day to stay on track.
This is for life, not for a week! its going to take me over a year to loose all my excess weight but mate, its gunna be good!